daNo shirt no shoes you shrink, A PSOCrafter's TaleBy Littletoy, based on a collage by Asukafan2001 It was a hot summer day in Julyin rural Circleville, Ohio. I had been fired from my job cutting grass forLoparo's Landscaping and still hadn't found another job. To be honest, I reallywasn't looking. I started Ohio State in the fall and was enjoying my last summeror freedom. Mom and Dad were away in Europe for a two-month vacation and mylittle sister who was in eleventh grade was busy with her friends most of thetime. With nothing better to do I walked to the end of the block to get aSlushee from the local Quickie Mart. Quickie Mart was empty except for this oldwomen buying lottery tickets from Apu, the store owner. I knew Apu wasn't gonnalike the fact I had no shirt on but damn it was hot. I strolled over to theSlushee machine and grabbed a cup. I saw they were all out of frozen Coke, myfavorite flavor so I filled up the cup with cherry instead.
â€œSir you must leave, you do nothave shirt. See the sign says No Shoe No Shirt No Slushee.â€ bellowed Apu fromthe front of the store. I put the plastic lid on top and went up to pay.
â€œSorry man, I left it at home.â€ Idug out two bucks from my jeans pocket and threw it down on the counter. Apudidn't look too impressed. Instead of reaching for the money he reached out andgrabbed the Slushee away from me.
â€œI told you before, No shirt, noSlushee. As punishment you pay anyway!â€â€œYou DICK!â€â€œDo not temper with me young man.
I will not let this be happening.â€â€œFuck off you dot-headed cowworshipper!â€â€œGET OUT OF MY STORE! GET OUT GETOUT!â€I started out the front door butnot before flipping Apu off one last time. Apu raised his arms out straight andstarted saying something in a strange language which he repeated over and over.
â€œUUNGALA-BUNGALA VASHTI SUPRANACAMEL DAR!â€He then threw a slip of paper atme. I caught it with one hand and shoved it in my pocket without a thought. Ifigured it was my dollar bills back but it didn't feel like money. I would checklater I thought.
â€œYeah same to you â€œI said backingout the front door.
â€œOOFF!â€â€œWATCH IT DORK!â€â€œI CANâ€T BELIEVE YOU DARRIN! YOUARE SUUUUCH A KLUTZ!â€It was my sister Beth; I hadslammed into her and her friends as they were piling through the front door.
Beth in turn had fallen into her three best girlfriends' right behind her. Beth,Kristin, Jenna and Brandi were all 16 and among the most popular girls inschool. I wasn't in my sister's social strata and she knew it.
â€œSorry Bethâ€ I said as I backedout into the parking lot. Beth looked at me with contempt as she noticed my eyeslock on to her best friend Kristen's breasts.
â€œEyes front perv, I'm having aparty tomorrow night and don't try to stop me and you better not tell mom anddad either.â€â€œYou're cleaning up.â€I heard the girls gigglesomething as I made my way out the door and across the parking lot. I felt dizzyand lightheaded suddenly, so I decided to make my way to the little park acrossthe street. I hadn't gotten more than a few steps when suddenly the concreterose up to meet me. I landed on the ground with a crash as I blacked out. Idon't know how long I was out. I awoke because the ground I was lying on startedrumbling like the scene in â€œJurassic Parkâ€ where the T-Rex makes his firstappearance. At first it was a thud, then another deep thud and another andanother. As I got to my feet I half expected to hear a blood-curdling roar butit sounded instead like a whiny girl's voice only greatly magnified toear-splitting proportions.
â€œThat guy in there smells funny.â€â€œI don't think they shower likewe do Beth.â€â€˜I think he was all pissed atyour loser brother.â€I looked out across a vastconcrete plain. Rising up in front of me were eight trees that seemed to sway inthe breeze. One of the trees lifted its trunk and rubbed against another tree.
The tree seemed to be strangely colored, almost fleshy. I screamed as the trunkslammed down just in front of me, and with horror I saw the giant shoe andrealized it wasn't a tree at all.
It was my sister Bethâ€¦â€œBeth! Beth! Down here!â€â€œDid you hear something Kristin?â€â€œI heard something too; itsounded kind of tiny and squeaky.â€â€œWhere's it coming from?â€I yelled again at the top of mylungs. I looked up, up at the massive figure of Beth as she knelt down. Hercutoff shirt and shorts were the size of circus tents as she searched the groundfor the source of the squeaking. All the girls had large soda cups with extralong straws sticking out that must have easily been twice my height I waved myhands over my head trying to get attention but it was Brandi who pointed at me.
â€œBeth LOOK!â€â€œWhat is that?â€â€œKILL IT KILL IT!â€â€Kristen stop you're scaring it!â€I cringed visibly as Kristinstomped her foot down only inches in front of me.
â€œNOOOOOO!â€I half expected my life to endright then and there, but a something soft coiled around me. I panicked as theground fell away and I was lifted high in the air. As I rose higher I could seetheir titanic bodies before me, staring at me in shock and surprise. I came faceto face with the hugeness that was my sister and her friends. Beth gripped mefirmly in her hand while she examined her find.
â€Beth you've got to help me please something's happened!â€â€œHe said your name Beth; I canhear his funny little squeaking voice.â€â€œDarrin, is that you?â€â€œOh my god its Beth's brother!Look at him!â€â€œWhat happened to you?â€â€œPlease get me to a hospital,help me.â€â€œOh don't worry â€˜little' brotherI will help you. Kristin give you your cup.â€â€œNO NOT IN THE SODA!â€â€œOh hush you big baby.'â€œLet's take him across the streetto the park.â€I saw Beth laugh at me as Ipleaded not to go in the cup. Kristin held out her cup and popped the lid off,and Beth moved me over the top and let go. I dreaded being covered in stickysyrupy soda but was relieved when I had the liquid and realized it was onlywater. Kristin smiled down at me, telling me how cute I looked before snappingthe plastic lid back on while the girls talked and walked over to the park. Ihad to tread water and finally grabbed on to the straw to keep from drowning.
Several times I felt the cold water go through the straw I was clinging to asKristin took massive sips from her water. The water level would drop as shesucked then slightly rise again as she released the straw from her lips. Howhumiliating. My pants and shoes were soaked and I was shivering as they madetheir way over to some garden tables and chairs. They sat down in a circle.
Kristin popped the lid off her cup. I tried to ward off her thumb and forefingerbut she pinched my midsection and lifted me up. I was held by Kristin in themiddle of the group of girls. I saw Brandi smile at me but I was quickly grabbedby Beth as I hung in midair, the water dropping off of me.
â€œAww you got him all soakedKristin.â€â€œAt least you didn't get him allsticky since you didn't get soda.â€â€œI couldn't I'm on a diet.â€â€œAgain. You could hide behind awire coat hanger as it is.â€â€œHey! At least I'm not a heiferlike Sarah MacDonaldâ€â€œUgh!â€ The girls all broke into awave of disgust at the mention of the name.
â€œWellwell, my dorky brother, cut down to size at last I see. Looks like I'm about tobecome an only child.â€â€œDon't hurt him Beth. He was socute. He was clinging to my straw.â€â€œYeah look at the little thinghe's shivering.â€â€œYeah poor little doll, lets dryhim off girls.â€I screamed bloody murder as Bethheld me out in front of her. I saw the girls all pull their straws out fromtheir cups and aim them at me while putting the other end in their mouths. Theireyes were locked on me as I struggled in my sister's hand. Then the blast fromthe straws hit me, washing my face and body with their breath. They aimed thestraws up and down me for the next several minutes while all the while Istruggled helplessly in Beth's hand. I tried in vain to bat them away but theyseemed to come at me from every direction and angle in their relentless pursuitof drying me off. I felt myself becoming drier by the second until finally theystopped. Brandi snatched me up and held me upside down before her face.
â€œThere all dry little man. You'reso light.â€â€œLemme go lemme go!â€Beth then snatched me back up andheld me up to her face.
â€œWell little brother, I don'tknow how this happened but it looks like you will have to get used to thingsbeing different from now on. And it looks like I won't have to share the housewith you until Mom and Dad get back and after that even.â€â€œW-what are you going to do tome? Beth I'm your brother don't kill me please!â€â€œKill you? Don't be silly you'refar too valuable this way. I got a better idea. Girls pick a number between oneand ten.â€â€œSeven.â€ Said Kristin.
â€œTwoâ€ Said Brandi.
â€œThreeâ€ Said Jennaâ€œBeth you can't be serious!â€â€œShush doll man, the girls arediscussing things.â€â€˜AND THE WINNER OF MY BROTHERISâ€¦..THREE JENNA YOU WIN!â€â€œYAY!â€â€œAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!â€ Beth casually flipped me up in the general direction of Jenna. Theblond girl with the ponytail deftly plucked me from the air and dangled me infront of her face. Her hand smelled like strawberries and was soft and supple.
â€œJenna can you keep him for awhile? You can play with him but remember he is my brother and he belongs to meuntil I say otherwise.â€â€œCool. Come on little Darrin letsget you home.â€â€œNo wait Mffffpptâ€ I was thrust against this blonde's shirt between her breasts as shequickly got up and started walking. Her breasts shook against me slightly as shewalked at a brisk pace to her house. I listened for the sounds of the othergirls, especially my sister. How cold she do this to me? I know we weren'texactly close but I never expected her to just hand me off to Jenna like somemeaningless possession of hers.
Jenna dashed inside her houseand made a beeline for her room but was stopped in the middle of the hall. I wasburied so I couldn't see but I could hear another feminine voice.
â€œHi Jenna what'cha got there?â€â€œGo away brat I have homework todo!â€â€œHOMEWORK? It's July!â€â€œSummer reading now beat it.â€I heard the sound of a door slamas I was lifted away from Jenna's chest and set down on her bed. I looked aroundat her gigantic room, then at the floor far below.
â€œNow don't get any ideas abouttrying to escape little Darrin doll. You wouldn't want my sister Samantha tofind you now would you? Be a good boy and hang out on my bed while I clean up myroom, â€˜k?â€I pleaded to Jenna to release meor help me get to a hospital but she pretended not to even notice me as shemoved about her room picking up clothes and magazines and generally tidying up.
When she was done she sauntered over to the bed and just fell forwards. Iscreamed in terror as her massive body slammed down on my but her hands came upat the last minute to brace against the bed, creating a small space between themattress and her breasts or I would have been crushed instantly.
â€œScared you ha ha ha.â€ Jennateased as she gently lowered herself down on my. I beat against her with myfists for only a second before the massive weight of her body forced my armsagainst my sides and pinned me to the bed. Her warmth was everywhere, as was themango-guava scent from the Bath and Body Works she used to shower with. She thenflipped on her back, suspending me above her breasts as she did so.
â€œI can't believe its you Darrin.
Don't be mad with Beth, I won't let her hurt you ok? Besides you're so cute likethis.â€â€œDammit Jenna I am not some toyto be looked after put me down.â€â€œOf course you're not a toy.
You're my little Darrin doll to be looked after for as long as Beth says.â€Jenna then set me down on herchest. I rose and fell with her breathing as her b-cups jutted to either side ofme. I cringed at how a high school girl's chest could easily hold me and move meup and down with it without so much as noticing one iota my weight displacement.
I started crawling down her chest across her stomach, which caused Jenna tostart giggling, which started her stomach bouncing up and down, which caused meto fall flat face down.
â€œCareful. Trying to escape me?â€â€œNo I -â€œWe were interrupted as the doorabruptly burst open and a tall girl seemingly a year or so younger than Jennaburst in. I already knew her to be Jenna's little sister Mallory, who was asophomore this fall. She had roughly the same build as Jenna but had dark brownhair in a ponytail. She had on cutoff jeans and a T-shirt.
â€œGet out of here you Brat! You'resupposed to knock!â€â€œI know you're hiding somethingJenna and I-what is THAT?â€I closed my eyes as I knew whatwas next. I felt myself gripped in a tight fist of steel as Jenna's stomach fellaway. In a flash I was upside down hanging in front of Mallory's astonishedface. She twisted me in her grip while I fought and struggled and screamed to beput down over and over again but that just seemed to strengthen her resolve tooverpower me.
â€œOh god Jenna it looks like atiny man, and he looks just like Beth Dremmel's older brother!â€â€œHe is Beth Dremmel's olderbrother. Darrin do you remember my sister Mallory?â€â€œHow did he get like this? Howdid you get him?â€â€œBeth asked me to look after himfor a while. Isn't he the cutest little thing?â€â€œHi there little Darrin you areso cure, yes you are, yes you are. Do you want to come to Mallory's room for awhile?â€â€œJenna please tell her to put medown dammit I'm not you girls pet dammit.â€â€œOooo such language Darrin. Forthat you can go with Mallory until suppertime.â€â€œHeeeeelp noooooo Mallory put medoooooown let me go! Beth I will get you for this BETHâ€¦BETHHHHHH!â€As Mallory stared at me whilecarrying me down the hall to her room I reflected that my life as I knew it wasover. I was nothing more than a trinket at the whim of my sister and her popularfriends, to be passed back and forth against my will, never to see my house orbedroom again. I would not be going to Ohio State in the fall; no I would bestaying right here in Circleville in the possession of some spoiled high schoolhotties. All because I had to have that damn Slushee and I forgot my shirt. Iremembered the paper in my pants pocked Apu had given to me. I somehow managedin Mallory's hands to reach it and pull it out. Despite being rocked back andforth in Mallory's grip my eyes managed to focus on the paper. When I read it,the hair stood on the back of my neck:It read:â€œUUNGALA-BUNGALA VASHTI SUPRANACAMEL DAR!â€And below it, the followingtranslation: *No shirt no shoes you shrink! THE END