Fourth Deconstructionby Aborigen, 21SEPT00Revenge of the Abused Wife Who Focused Way Too Much Attention and Energy Uponthe One Man Who Didn?t Deserve It, Rather Than Leaving Him to Find a HealthierRelationship and Recover Her Peace of MindOnce there was this married couple, and thewoman was really hot with a totally excellent body, and the guy was some fatbalding slob like you see in one-panel cartoons in the paper. Maybe he wasreally attractive once with a great job and he just went downhill, or maybe thewoman was exceptionally stupid and thought she saw something noble and fine inhim and it turned out the only fine thing in him were asbestos particles in hislungs but she thought she could change him into someone better, rather thansimply waiting around for someone who was better because she couldn?tbear to be alone with herself, because society taught her that women areinferior and submissive and nothing without a husband. She swallowed it allhook, line, and sinker, even though it was a completely self-defeatistphilosophy, and agreed to play along even though the chips were very obviouslystacked against her, no bones about it.
Anyway, he abused her a lot by smacking heraround and ordering her to do things like make food and do the laundry andstuff, while he sat around getting fatter in his wife-beater shirt and stainedblack slacks, watching TV with a newspaper draped over his legs, yeah, just likeyou?ve seen in those cartoons. He was a total stereotype. He?d smack her aroundall day and then wrap up the evening with, "Gimme sex, bitch." Evil, eh? Youbet. He even stank like curdled milk.
So he?s, like, a bad guy and stuff. Then oneday while she was out grocery shopping she stopped by the library and met an oldwitch/chemist who produced a secret ancient tome entitled, How To Shrink DownYour Abusive Husband So You Can Use Sex As Revenge. Not knowing what theywould find inside they magically turned to just the right page and the old cronegave the poor hottielicious housewife a potion that had to have a magic spellrecited with it, which the woman memorized since it was a stupid little rhymethat made Ogden Nash?s work look sophisticated.
She went home and poured the potion into one ofhis beers, ?cos he kept asking for beer all the time too, so she gave him thedrugged beer and he?s like, "Whoa, something feels funny, what?s going on?" Andthen he shrunk down and his clothes didn?t so he?s this little naked pudgy wartsitting in the middle of a huge old recliner. So the woman took off all herclothes and picked him up and laughed at how helpless he was and set him in themiddle of the kitchen table.
He started yelling at her and ordering heraround, which was stupid since he was no taller than her hand was long. Sheslapped him and knocked him on his ass. "You can?t talk to me like that anymorebecause I?m all big and powerful and you?re a tiny little man and now I?m goingto compare you to your tiny genitalia for a while." And then he cried out ofshock so she slammed her hand on the table until he stopped.
She reached into a very convenient fruit bowlwith many fruits and vegetables and other foods in it. "You see this tomato,honey?" she asked very, very sarcastically. "This is you if you don?t shape up:"and she squeezed it in her fist. With her bare hand she squeezed atomato, and juice and seeds spurted from between her fingers and across thetable and against the wall, and some hit the man. He cried and pleaded for hernot to hurt him.
"Hurt you?" she laughed, reaching into thefruit bowl. "You see this strawberry, dear?" she asked, her voice again drippingwith sarcasm. "This is going to be you if you misbehave:" and she crushed itwith her bare hand and the fruity mess ran down her fist and onto the table.
The tiny formerly-abusive husband cried in fear and pleaded for her not to hurthim.
"Hurt you?" she chortled, reaching into thefruit bowl. "You see this kiwi, sweetheart?" she asked, her voice heavily ladenwith equal parts rhetoric and sarcasm, especially. "This represents you if youdon?t do what I say:" and I swear to God she crushed that unskinned kiwi withnothing but her hand. Juice and seeds ran everywhere, and the fat-ass mean ol?husband, shrunken down, began blubbering like a baby and begged her to pleasenot hurt him.
"Hurt you?" she guffawed malevolently, reachinginto the fruit bowl. "You see these Saltines, darling?" she asked, her voiceshot through with striations of strong sarcasm. "They?re, like, your bones ifyou think you?re going to mess around with me:" and she absolutely mangled thedry crackers in her fingers. Crumbs fell like rain from her all-destroying fist,and her pudgy bag-o?-abuse she called a husband started wailing for her toplease not hurt him.
"Hurt you?" she chuckled darkly, reaching intothe fruit bowl. "You see this uncooked spaghetti, bitsy-pookums?" she asked,way, way sarcastic-like. "This is what I?ll do to you if you?re naughty:" andshe snapped it into bits, picking up the larger pieces again and again andbreaking them up into smaller bits. Her tyrannical despot of a husband, now nobigger than an action figure, broke into uncontrollable sobbing as he begged herto not hurt him, please.
"Hurt you?" she snickered acidly, reaching intothe fruit bowl. "You see this handful of chow mein noodles, stud-muffin?" sheasked, so sarcastic you could puke. "I?ll do to these what I?ll do to you ifyou?re disobedient:" and she tightened her fingers around the pile of noodlesand mashed them into crumbs. Her physically violent and now miniaturized spousecollapsed into tears of fright and begged, pleaded with her please not to hurthim, please.
"Hurt you?" she crowed hysterically, reachinginto the fruit bowl. "You see this grade-A large egg, light of my life, fire ofmy loins?" she asked, and if you would?ve looked up ?sarcasm? in the dictionaryyou would?ve seen her face there. "This egg will now receive the brunt of mywrath like you will if you deviate from my orders to any degree:" and she simplyturned her hand down and slammed the egg into the table, spattering whites andyolk in all directions, coating her diminutive barbarian husband in goop. Hewept inconsolably, praying for enough mercy for her not to hurt him, please.
"Hurt you?" she howled with mirth, reachinginto the fruit bowl. "You see this coconut, hunka-hunka burnin? love?" sheasked, laying on the caustic sarcasm nice and thick just in case he missed it atsome point. "I?m going to do to this coconut-?" but her fingers strained againstthe solid husk to no effect. "I?m going to? give this cocon-?" but though sheknocked it quite violently against the table, it didn?t give an inch. "Thiscoconut is going to get-?" but when she threw it into the floor it just bouncedand rolled around a little bit. Finally she threw it into the living room andsaid, "Christ, what a messy goddamn table. How do these things happen?"But she didn?t clean it up, she swiped at herhusband and knocked him onto the ground. Due to some complex yet thankfullyvague theory of physics he tumbled very slowly off the table and landed unharmedon the ground. He sprang to his feet and attempted to run away but she simplystrode into him, knocking him over with her toes and then stood on him with bothfeet until his pudgy, doughy pale body squealed like a puppy?s chew toy. Thenshe let him get up, run away again, and would pinch his legs with her toes,kicking up her foot in the air and swinging him around haphazardly, laughing allthe while. He screamed in terror, especially when she slipped and he sailed intothe door of the china cabinet, bouncing on the ground a couple times beforelaying there, panting in fright.
"Oh, don?t be such a baby," she saidderisively, and rolled him around with her foot. Then she picked him up andsaid, "You know what? I?m going to watch what I want to see on TV," andbrought him over to the couch. She sat down and wedged him between her thighs,in her lap. He kicked and struggled but was so fat that it was nothing for herto clamp down on him with her firm, supple thighs, and all he did was get hisfeet tangled up in her pubic hair. "Oh, look, football," she said cheerily, andhe stopped fighting long enough to check it out. She changed the channel withthe remote, taunting him with, "Oops, too bad! Guess it?s the ?Lifetime Channel?for us." And she sat and watched a talk show, The Male Hatred Hour,stroking her husband?s hair idly all the while with huge, thick, softfingertips.
When she looked down she noticed (over hisenormous belly) that his penis had gotten quite hard, so she plucked him up byhis head and thwacked his cock with her other fingers as hard as she could forthe entire commercial break, then jammed him back down into her crotch for therest of the show. When that was done she simply stretched out on the couch andbegan introducing his flimsy, weak body into her dry labia and vulva, forcinghim past the unrelenting skin into her suddenly moist vaginal passage. After afew pumping thrusts into her vagina, she rested her thumb against the back ofhis head and drove his face brusquely into her clitoris until she got extremelyexcited, then began thrusting him harder and harder into her vagina. Eventuallyshe stuffed the entire fat little guy into her cunt, and actually it filled herout something nice so she had no complaints.
Then the UPS guy showed up and delivered somevideos he?d ordered. The woman thrust her breasts into his face and offered himher husband?s beer, which he drank down and then he too shrunk down. She set himdown on the couch and lay on her front, pinning him beneath her tremendousbreast until it completely covered him and he couldn?t breathe, just his tinyflailing arms showed from around her enormous mammary. When that joke exhausteditself she stuffed him also into her vagina, right behind her husband, so hisface was shoved into her husband?s stinky ass.
Then the gas monitor showed up and even thoughit was a woman, the abused wife waggled her generous buttocks at the woman andbrought her inside, then also gave her some of the tainted beer, shrunk herdown, and left the woman to rest on her labia and to play with her clit, sincenobody really knows how to please a woman like a woman. From inside the vaginashe heard the two other guys? voices calling for help but she figured it wasnone of her business and was enjoying rolling the thick, aroused clitorisbetween her tiny hands, and the wife had no arguments either.
Then? I dunno, just some guy showed upand wanted something, so the woman took him in and actually had sex with him. Hedidn?t notice the tiny woman mounted on her labia, so the gas monitor got a nicelittle ride with the guy?s enormous cock thrusting between her tiny littlethighs. But the UPS guy caught the head of the new guy?s cock right up his buttand he split in half, and the enormous cock forced the bloody chunks up to thefat abusive husband, who blocked most of the passage to the deeper vaginalregions. But that didn?t slow the new guy down at all, he just thrust harder andharder and crushed the evil husband against the interior walls of the vagina(though in actuality her vagina should have been able to expand quiteconsiderably to accommodate both the engorged penis and her fatass husband). Butthen the wife gave the new guy some of the beer and he too shrunk down and fellonto the couch cushion between the enormous valley of the wife?s thighs and whenhe looked up he saw the merry ol? gas monitor gleefully massaging the insane butjustified wife?s clitoris until it looked like a beachball, and then the mangledcorpses of the two guys came out of her pussy and dripped down her thighs andthen the wife laughed and said something that reflected some kind of sense offoreshadowing, like this was going to happen again and again. So stay in schooland don?t do drugs!The End.