Indiana Jack and the Boot of DoomByAsukafan I awoke on a damp cold surface. My eyes stungof rancid sweat. The kind of smell you get if you forget to wash your gym socksfor a couple weeks. I knew already that this couldn't be my room. I kept a tidyroom and I never remember it smelling like this.
â€œBritney! Wake up! You have a shoot to do todayâ€â€Ugh, this is suppose to be my vacation momâ€ â€œI know dear, but it's just for todayâ€ â€œAlrightâ€ The voices were booming. I could hardlycomprehend what the voices were saying let alone realize it was an intelligibleconversation happening. I heard and felt a loud rapturous boom. I ran up thetunnel towards the light and looked up the long shaft. Whatever cave I was in,it sure wasn't easy to get out. The shaft extended upward at least a couplethousand feet. The rock walls felt smooth and flawless. I had never seen a rockthat was this smooth it was absolutely impossible to climb. My eyes struggledand I found that I couldn't see up and out of the shaft. I could only see thelight coming down into it. I yelled for help a couple times but the constantshaking easily drown out my voice.
Hours had passed as I stared at my watch. Itwas like torture. I had covered every square inch of this cave and there wasjust no way out. The smell was beginning to drive me batty. It made my stomachclench and squeeze tightly together. I had to hold back the urge to vomit fromthe putrid stench.
I felt the cave begin to once again shake fromside to side. The light at the top of the shaft was shut off like a lightswitch. I looked up at the shaft trying to figure out what was happening. Icould hear a soft grinding noise getting closer and closer. I continued to lookup until five gigantic wiggling toes were staring me right in the face. I tookoff running down the shaft but they were on me too quick. I dove to the groundjust to avoid missing getting my head tore off. I crawled a short distancefurther down but then I found myself pressed into the floor of this cave by tonsupon tons of weight. I could feel my back sinking into the floor via the intensepressure and that is when I realized it wasn't a cave at all. The toes, the longshaft, at the end of the tunnel I was in a shoe or a boot to be more exact.
My mind was in absolute horror asclaustrophobia set in. I was under the arch of this girl's foot. Sealed in atomb of flesh, what did her mom say her name was? Oh yea Britney. I tried tomove my arms up hoping maybe if I scratched her foot I could get her attentionbut my arms were pinned to my side.
â€œBritney your limo is hereâ€ â€œOkay Momâ€ I felt all the pressure around me lift up andoff of me. I found myself able to move. I couldn't stand up but I could crawl onmy back and shimmy up and down. I was debating whether or not to move when athousand tons of weight slammed back down onto my body. Her foot pressed harderand harder onto my face. The bottom of her foot smelled peachy. Like that peachscented lotion you can get at bath and body works. As the weight of Britneypressed harder and harder down upon me the peach smell intensified more andmore. I found myself breathing in the peach scent as opposed to air. I welcomedher foot rising up and off of me and I took in mouthfuls of the air around me.
This time as her foot began to come down towards me. My instincts told me tooput my arms out in front of me like I could possibly hold off her foot. As myhands hit her soft silky smooth skin they sunk into it her foot flesh. Her footwas so very warm. I found that the boot around me was quickly heating up makingthe once frozen cold surroundings a distant memory.
Her foot began too sweat intensely as shecontinued to walk. Her sweat rolled over my body. As she took step after step Ibegan to forget about everything else but just trying to stay alive. I had tobreathe on her up step and then hold my breath as she stepped down on top of me.
This is how it went again and again, and again. Finally I heard a door open andclose and all the weight was off of me. It was hot and steamy but there wasnothing on top of me.
â€œWhat is in my boot? It is just killing my footâ€ I felt her toes retreat off of me. As her footleft I could once again see light but only for a moment as I found myselfrolling up the walls of the cave and crashing onto the leather seat of the limo.
I was shocked as I saw the face of Britney Spears staring down at me.
â€œWell, well, well what do we have here?â€ I tried to say something but I found that Icouldn't breathe. I was like a fish out of water. I flopped around on the seattrying to breathe and figure out what is going on when I saw Britney pull ametallic looking gun out of her purse. I had no time to react before the lightengulfed me and I dwindled once again getting smaller and smaller. I could nolonger see her face. Her foot now looked like it must have been the sears towerto me.
â€œIf you want to live you better stay nice and close to myfoot. You can only breathe air that has my sweat molecules in it, and your eyeshave been rebuilt so they are only comfortable in the dark areas. Now show myfoot how much you love and need it to survive.â€ I knew I would never say that, however as theminutes past by and I was running out of the air I ran to her foot as fast as Icould and I found that I could once again breathe. I took mouthfuls of theputrid air relishing the fact that I was able to breathe and stay alive.
â€œBritney we are hereâ€ â€œAlrightâ€ She knocked me into her boot using her pinkytoe. I never even saw it coming. I fell for what seemed like ever. Before I hadeven hit the ground her foot was sliding into the boot after. I impacted thesole of her boot. Her heel landed just above. As I laid dazed on the ground Ifound her that the heel of Britney's foot looked more like the sky than it didthe bottom of her foot. The fibers of the insole have grown to look like tree'sA regular forest as they extend like California redwoods into the sky. I triedto reach out towards her foot but it was like trying to touch a star. I wonderedjust how small and I had gotten and just how long I could survive.
This time when she started walking I could feela slight shaking but after a few minutes I learned how to walk with it. In thedistance I could see what looked to be ac clearing with buildings in theformation of a town. As I grew nearer and nearer to the town it started to rain.
I had always loved the rain. The smell the air gets after it is done raining,the cool pure rain water hitting your body cooling you off. I turned my head uptowards the sky and opened my mouth. As the rain hit my mouth I gaggedprofusely. I coughed and hacked as the salty warm water slid down my throat. Therain tasted more like sweat then it did rain water. Then it dawned on me where Iwas and just why the rain was warm and salty. This downpour was merely the sweatrolling off of Britney's foot.
As I stood here for a few minutes perplexed andshocked by my realization I found my clothes were getting wetter and wetter. Myclothes felt glued to my body. The air in here was stale and ripe. It was likehell. I started to run towards the buildings I saw in the distance to get outfrom this sweat shower. I thought it was odd that Britney was right. I couldbarely see at all earlier when I was outside her boot and now I can see as clearas day.
I had finally reached the town. Once I gotthere I was shocked to find a city much like my own only minus cars. Peoplewere walking around and working like this was normal. I ran into the firstbuilding I came upon. It looked to be a bar. As I ran I was greeted by a manabout the same height as I.
â€œYou look newâ€ â€œHow can you tell?â€ â€œYou have a lost look on your face. Let me pour you a glassof water and explain a few thingsâ€ â€œThanks sirâ€ I sat down where he had directedme. There was already a glass full of water where I sat down.. As I grabbed itmy throat was dry and that nasty sweat taste was still in my mouth. I went todown the entire glass in a single gulp but the second it hit my tongue I gaggedand spit it back out.
â€œwhat the hell is this?â€ â€œWaterâ€ â€œIt tastes like sweat. Where the hell did you get thisstuff?â€â€From the ground, its well water, where do you get your water?â€ â€œYou mean the ground as in Britney's insole?â€ â€œInsole? What is this Insole you speak of?â€ â€œThe thing her foot rests onâ€ â€œAhh yes now I remember calling these things Insoles onceupon a time. You see in this land everything we get comes from the sky. Ourfood, our water, The sky is our salvation however, it is quite unpredictable. Itcomes and goes as it pleases on no schedule so we all work to harvest the bountyit provides.â€ As we continued to talk a plate was set down infront of me. The guy across from me started eating right away but I merelylooked at it in disgust. It was sock fuzz, and toe jam, and what looked to be astale bread crumb set on the plate.
â€œeat up son, at least eat the crumb, those are valuable. Itbeing your first day here it is our way of saying welcome but those are a raretreat. And worth a fortune if you find any.â€ â€œHow do they get here? The crumbs I meanâ€ â€œFrom the skyâ€ â€œYou mean when she walks barefoot and a crumb or some otherpiece of food sticks her foot and flakes off?â€ â€œIf you say so. I know not what you talk about, but I haveforgotten much. You will too, slowly, you will hardly realize it. We all do.â€ I grabbed the crumb as it was the only ediblelooking thing on my plate. As I took a bite I gagged but I forced it down. Itwas a bread crumb indeed but it was quite stale and it too was soaked with hersweat. I forced the rest of it down and took a couple swigs of this sweat water.
â€œYou look tired, why don't you go to the loft and rest.
Tomorrow, come down and talk to the bartender here. He will set you up with ajob. You don't have to stay here but if you do, you will be expected to earnyour keep like the rest of us here.
~Epilogue~ That night I did go up too the loft and rested.
I had trouble sleeping but I finally did. I was awoke by thea bright light. Ithurt my eyes to even look at. I ran down the stairs and went outside. It lookedup into the sky to see Britney's foot gone. As sweat poured down off my body Isighed in relief as it would at least cool down a bit.
I went to talk to the bartender he told me togo to the outskirts of town where I would see a group of people gathering. Theywould show me what to do. I learned later that I was a sweat harvester. I wouldtake the water from the ground pump it into tanks so we could survive when herfoot was not providing bounty as they called it.
As time passed I soon to forgot about my oldlife and began to settle into this new life. I never got use too the heatthough. We were so low in the boot that whether her foot was on top of us or notit is equivalent to about 110 degrees. I work by day, and dream by night. Idream of way out, a life outside this boot, but I know even if I could get out.
I can no longer breathe air out there. I have grown dependant upon the sweat,sock fuzz, and toe jam to survive, but I still have hope. Hope is the onlything that keeps me alive. Maybe someday I will be freed from this hell.